Funny joke, but the reality is, I've really enjoyed nursing my toddler. It is such a great tool for helping him calm down and I feel good knowing that I'm giving him a little extra boost to his immune system.
Sunday he nursed like a champ. He'd been fighting a bit of a cold the week before and was nursing just as he usually did, five or so times a day. Sunday was no different. We were playing and he'd nurse for a few minutes and then go back to playing. That was pretty typical.
Then Monday morning he woke up really stuffy. When he went to nurse, he took about two swigs and then started coughing like crazy when he couldn't breath in through his nose. And it appears, the rest is history....
Since Monday I have tried to put him on multiple times each day and he will have nothing to do with it. He squirms and pushes away and just wants to do other things. Just now when I put him to bed, during the time would I would normally nurse him I tried, he wouldn't latch on and just rested his head on my breast, with the nipple right by his mouth but wouldn't open his mouth.
I've tried pumping a few times, thinking, maybe once his cold is gone he'll want to start up again, but I'm getting less than an ounce, so it kind of seems pointless. That seems so weird, though, because I feel so, so full. Especially when I try to nurse him. It's like my body knows what I want it to do, but when Finn won't go for it, I just hurt.
Anyway, I feel pretty okay about it. I have moments where I feel a little bit sad because I really wanted to make it to two years, but I also said that it was completely up to Finn to decide when he was ready to stop. Right now, he's ready. A week from now, if he wants to start again, we'll see what I can do about that, but for now, it's feeling pretty final.
I can see how this will be super emotional when it's my last baby.
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